Well, this day has arrived (February 5th)– we are on our honeymoon!

We arrive at the hotel and fresh ice-cold towel takes the burden of our lives left behind away. It reminds you of a fact that you are in the paradise and everything and everyone around you are here to make you happy. Minor mix up with our luggage gives me a chance to finish my glass of “welcome champagne” and admire architecture, fresh flowers, sound of water and inviting ocean that I can see not too far away. Quick tour of the hotel reinforces my suspicion that we will not be left alone – someone is always there to make your stay more enjoyable.

We started our stay with a quick lunch at Oceana restaurant – almost right on the beach. Inviting salty breeze, ocean view, fresh seafood, and a cool Corona finally convince me that I am in fact on vacation. I enjoy my food, my partner and the fact that my body is bathed in the sun, and touched by what feels like million kisses from butterflies – ocean breeze. Ocean waves, ocean reef, ocean, ocean, ocean is all you can see at this point – nothing reminds you that there is a world out there with its challenges, drama and harshness.

Day continues with a little walk on the beach…Breath in – breath out, breath in – breath out…Perfect…Nature is so perfect…Ocean feels my lungs, my ears, tickles my feet…

Dinner at Italian restaurant… Don’t ask – we tried to go Asian, Italian cuisine is probably the last thing I would choose here on the ocean beach…But Italian…Glass of mysterious Mexican wine, candlelight, and violinist complete our day. Violinist…His technique is flawless; his is pouring his heart out to us through his violin; sounds of violin fills the air…For a moment I went back in time – I am somewhere in the hot little room that smells like sweat, wood, and magic…I am in one of the scenes from “Red Violin”…Amazing…Violin, candles, my love, wine – perfect…

Day is wrapped up with a hot tub, bed of roses, bottle of champagne and fruits…So far I am in heaven…Open window lets ocean waves and birds invade our room. I’m falling asleep with violin still in my heart…With an ocean breeze in my hair…With my love next to me…


Another day in paradise…

We are at the heated pool. Actually, it doesn’t really feels like heated pool after and hour of sun bathing – feels pretty cold to me. We are at the pool, consumed by our books, our thoughts, guessing what we ever did wrong that we can not leave like this every day…Lounge chairs actually are in the water, little breeze and you can feel tiny drops of water splashing all over our eager bodies. One more breeze, and our heart can not take this anymore – we are in the water. Our bodies become one, nothing between us except soothing water reminding us that we should behave and keeping an invisible barrier preventing us from entirely becoming one. My body is so in love with water, that I can feel it stretching like bow string and then it gives up to this seduction game and each muscle is relaxed, and each nerve is at peace. Each wave is threatening me by driving me absolutely insane, taking my body somewhere beyond this world, leaving it pleasantly tired after its adventure. I am tranquil, my soul is “lots at sea”…Our bodies meet again and at this point nothing is disturbing my peace – no seductive thoughts, just enduring love.

We give ourselves to reading – take our minds, feelings, souls into an unlike world of someone else’s desires, dreams, victories and defeats. Some food for thought with an ocean view…

Walk on the beach…Aqua blue all the way until horizon where it meets sky blue with some white oddly shaped cotton balls here and there and sun blasting down on us…Walking on the sand, you realize how small you are, how non-important is your existence…Than you see him next to you and appreciate the fact that there is someone in this world that will be absolutely lost if you were not here, who will vanish without your kisses and your love – maybe there is a purpose to you as well like to anything else that Nature does.

I am wondering about this reef that is unseen under water and only sign of the water struggling with the reef appears on the surface in the form of foam. All the color, concealed life, fish of different shapes and shades, life like no one sees it here on Earth, totally hidden from us by the powerful Ocean… There is so much we do not know, can not even imagine, and our minds can only wonder…After all, maybe it is not truly a wonder, maybe we actually knew it all and it is buried in our hearts and not everyone is blessed to be able to remember, admire, value. I think I am – same way I was able to remember yesterday - me, centuries ago in Italy manufacturing or inspire to manufacture violins. Maybe it is in depth of my heart, maybe it is in the mystery of my DNA but it is there inside of me and my soul feeds me all of these memories when I least expect.

Dinner at the Asian Restaurant finishes our day…Well, not really – few more drinks at the bar, and another private food extravagance and we are off to bed.

Wake up in the morning with a feeling of inner peace…

Quick dive lesson in the pool… I am always amazed at something like this – be submerged under water, where it is trying to take control over you and you are fighting that battle. Finally I won, and water gave up by wrapping up my body and gently carrying it in its depth…I am floating in the water…Ok, I agree – I am not as comfortable as a fish in the water, but nevertheless – I won this battle too. My heart does not pound anymore; it is beating with the same rhythm as water splashing on my body, creating an illusion of me being absolutely free of my molecular state.

Walk on the beach with a book in hand. Does it get any better than this? Someone is playing with aerobatic kite. It is daring the boring blue sky with a splash of color. Drastic fall, amazing rise, again and again like life itself…Than you remember that there is a powerful hand supporting this “free adventure” and lacking that hand, and without a wind beneath its wings – kite would just be motionless. Same as life- everyone needs that strong hand that supports you all the way through. No matter how strong you think you are, no matter how determent – there is always a time of drastic fall and you need someone there to pick you up or at least give you a sense of direction. My priceless life with it falls and rises, with its victories and defeats, my life, my journey, my expedition to self-discovery.


Two little girls walking on the beach…Feet emerged in the water that tickles you as you walk; sea grass persistently trapped between you toes, inspirational breeze. Lucky them – from this age they already know the luxury of Mother-Nature’s gifts, they may not appreciate it now, but profound picture will go in the photo album of their memory. Lucky them…My childhood buried somewhere between pioneer summer camps, communistic party marches, patriotic songs…too young to remember trip to Black or Azovian Sea, your memory is not ready for such an overwhelming experience. Two adorable babies - breeze wanders in their hair, feet in the water – perfect childhood memory in such an imperfect world.

Today is a big day…My first diving experience – my first dive…

Another dive in the pool – juts to try and get to the point when I am as comfortable as a fish in the water…Breathing, floating, realizing that we are very “unprepared” and very simple creatures compare to some other species...Water comfortably hugs my body, offering me some sort of protection – I am not sure what is it exactly, it is just feels that way…I am trying to find that inner peace but it seems to be squeezed out of my soul and my heart by all that water surrounding me from every direction…I need to find some comfort in the water and water will respect me as I respect it; and it water itself will open its depths to me and invite me for a calm out of this world experience…

Dive in the open water…Rough see, ocean breeze, little boat taking you to the experience of your life…We are under water…It feels like water washed off all those layers of “life experiences” off your skin and now all of your senses, your nerves are out in the open – you see and process everything absolutely differently, with renewed senses, your eyes are open wider and you can see much more – inside and out…You realize that all of your life so far you lived in half world depriving yourself from a world which lies beneath – water, ocean, majority of Earth Surface. Ocean as an unknown monster opens it arms to you and invites you over – juts to peek a little into this world of colorful fish, amazing creatures, restless coral reefs, and sandy bottom. Ocean invites you to see as much as you are willing to see – “what is on the surfaces”; and than astonished you can wonder how many other life forms found their peace here. It is absolutely amazing experience! My soul wonders through the reef and once again I wish I could drop all the mass of bones and muscles called body and juts explore. Live my life as a fish in the sea – with all its dangers, challenges, and amazing creatures. You do not want to leave – you want to stay and absorbed all of this Nature’s miracle work – it does not get any better than this. Each reef is like a miniature kingdom with its own rules and its own habitat. You feel so small to all this creatures that are much smaller that you are in size. You realize how limited your life has been so far, and that once again Nature amazed you. I am surrounded by life – in all of it glory and mystery. I read and learned about all the sea life back at school but I wish we could have a day trip like this – now I can very clearly see why people become marine biologists. Also, since this world is hidden from Humans (and for good reasons) you realize how delicate and precious everything is; and out of the good of your heart you want to protect all of it – from us, Humans. How frustrating it probably is for Mother-Nature to see us ruining all of the creations of hers after she gave life to us – Humans. How careless and mean we can be to everything around us. If you want to be selfish at least think about your kids – they will never see this beauty if we will not protect it now; we already destroyed so many species, ruined so many habitats. We need to teach our children to unite with Nature, not to destroy innocent creatures juts because we are limited and do not want to think about it; or juts because they look scary to us. If all the men destroyed women that look scary in the morning – our species would fade away by now. I am a new person after this breathtaking transformation under water. Diving…

Dinner at the French Restaurant – my mind is still under water…
We decided to rent a car and visit some sites…

Driving through hurricane site…Hurricane, poverty, disaster, lost hopes, life without life…Why do we continue look for excuses not to change anything? Why we cowardly look in the mirror in the morning and decide that someone else can try and make it all better; and maybe if we had a good year – we will help out a little from the coziness of our homes…I do the same – I look for reasons why this will not be possible – I need to work and provide for my family, I have health issues, I have duties and responsibilities. But isn’t my most important “responsibility” is to try and make this world better – even if I can affect just one life? Why I can not just admit to myself – I am too much of a coward to enter this meaningful and difficult journey. There – I’ve said it. I travel through Mexico in my rented Jeep and from the air-conditioned car I notice how uncomfortable and unfortunate people around me are…Unfortunate? How do you describe this? Where do you begin to re-build your life? Daily routine is very important to children – for their mental development, growth and ability to learn. There is NO daily routine. And now they even lost their little wobbly hut – nothing is stable in their life. They struggle to build that life – life that is now gone with the wind, absolutely washed off by incredible and, in this situation destructive, power of Nature. Where do they begin again? No resources, no assistance, nowhere to go…And what do we do? Turn of our TV’s and at best feel sorry for less fortunate; at worst – we do not want to hear or see that – it can disturb our perfect lives, raise unwelcome thoughts in our minds…And we continue to do nothing by coming up with excuses…Why do we donate money to save marine life or tropical forests? It is very important cause and, of course, we should take care of our planet. But shouldn’t it be easier if we lived simple life’s and did not pollute to begin with? All that money that we are now spending on covering or on some occasions correcting our own mistakes, could’ve been spent of less fortunate people – our brothers and sisters…Why do we spend time, efforts and resources on wars? Why can’t we juts do something constructive? All of us – juts something little to help this world been a better place – for all of us, not only for some lucky reach people. Why?.. But for now it all continues – destruction, poverty, hopelessness, devastation, damage, ruins, desperation, depression, worry, fear, anxiety, sadness, gloominess, misery, agony, terror, horror, grief, sorrow, unhappiness, pain, suffering – should I really continue? All of this you can see in the eyes of little innocent children, their dogs, and their parents who are trying to give the best to their children – like all of us. But their best sometimes is not enough…they need our help but we pretend that there is really nothing we can do, and we’ve got our own problems and issues, and sometimes we are so busy – we juts can not be bothered…Where do we begin? What can we do? How can I sleep at night after all that I’ve seen? Sleeping pills, alcohol, drugs that allow you not to be any different – just be exactly like everyone else. For how long? Truth always will come out…You can only lie to yourself for so long…Maybe I am unique in my thoughts, but for some reason I have hard time believing it – and therefore I will leave you with your thoughts and your consciousness – my soul is still wondering and looking for a way to make this world a better place…If not for me and my generation – at least for the kids on the side of the road, that have absolutely nothing to look forward to…


Trip to Chichen Itza…Absolutely amazing ruins of ancient Maya…Breathtaking…It is absolutely incredible how simplicity, elegance and sophistication are contributing to this human-build wonder. We often forget that some of our ancestors were quite successful, extremely smart, and very devoted to their culture. Take in consideration that they had no mechanical devises, no metal tools, not even a wheel to help build these enormous buildings. If you look into scientific side of architecture, you will also be very pleasantly surprised at how smart Maya people were. This magnificent plaice is buried in the depth of jungle of Mexico…When you stand in the middle of this stone jungle you realize how mysterious it is – with skeletons carved in stone and incredible flowers next to them. El Castillo is quite a site by itself. Especially when you think about all the significance of its architecture…Next we wondered around Temple of the Warriors with a thousand columns round it in which Sun itself was lost…And than of course the Observatory – you appreciate how dedicated to science and knowledge May people were. I am walking between all of these ruins absolutely fascinated. What would we leave behind? Would next generations admire our knowledge and our accomplishments, or would they think that we were stupid enough to kill Mother Nature around us, pollute the Ocean, eliminate tropical forests and animal species? Would they admire anything we do today? On the other hand, there is a passionate desire inside of me to go back and enjoy simple life – as close to Nature as possible. My grandparents thought me how to collect herbs, how to survive in the wild. I would love to come back to that. Brings me straight to Alaska – one day I will rent a house in some lost village in the heart of Alaska right on the lake…Go fishing – for dinner, use fire place as an actual source of heat in your house, drink tea with herbs and be purified by all of the Nature around you. Mother-Nature gave us great survival tools, but we are so arrogant that at this point we forgot most of them. And here I am admiring Mayan culture and thinking how incredible that culture must’ve been. Magical place…I stand in the middle of a giant Ball Court and wonder – how many people enjoyed the cruel games of the past? What joy could these people possible experience in watching others dye? This highly progressive for its time, educated and smart people…History is truly remarkable and unfortunately we will probably never find out what lies beneath all these plans, calendar, knowledge in astronomy and at the same time – superstition, believe in God and human sacrifices.

Time to get back on the road… Back to washed out roads, houses under water, destruction and devastation brought by the hurricane to this colorful Land. It is very sad to see how cruel Nature can be. But than again – maybe she is juts paying us back for our incredible disrespect and disregard to any of her needs and desires…I hope that these people still believe in God - even after something as devastating as this. You need to believe in order to get through, you need to!

One thing that amazed me – kids. Kids by the side of the road with great sorrow in their eyes and not future in front of them. I hope that at least they are loved – if nothing else, that their souls are nurtured by their parents…How relevant everything is…Kids by the side of the road – very sad thing to see…