Children and parents…We can not choose our parents, their hobbies, jobs, characters. But our parents choose everything for us. On the other hand, if you really look into this, we do influence our parents choices quite a bit – once we are here in this World, our parents need to adjust their diets, schedules, vacation plans, life changes for them completely…But that is not what I was talking about it though…We are not by any means choosing our parents…Than why, do so many of them blame us for broken lives, divorcing, drinking problems? How do we turn from all the joy in the world at the moment when our parents realize they are going to have a baby to the moment when children are a few years old…What happens with us, our parents, our linked lives? How many couples stay together in misery just because of their children? How many couples divorce because of their differences in their opinion of what they perceive to be appropriate parenting? How many children, parents, grandparents, friends of the family end up in therapy for years trying to find inner piece…Most of the parents want their children, can not wait for them to be born, discuss that subject with their partner on numerous occasions… But than something goes wrong: if we are one of the most beautiful creations of Evolution, than how come we can not adapt to the change of having children in our lives? Why are we so eager to have children and than a lot of us are so eager to get rid of them?
Our parents are trying to ensure that we all grow up with our own sense of individuality, that we grow up to be our true selves…But at the same time, they absolutely freak out when we are “outside of the box” – do not look like everyone else, do not act like everyone else, wear different clothes, have unique hobbies…
As parents, we want to make sure that our child sees all the possibilities. But how many of our parents will argue with each other and act disrespectful of each other – and a lot of times arguments are about jobs, salaries, money, who is worthless – how are we, children, suppose to see or believe in possibilities?
We want our children to be independent thinkers and learn how to make decisions and be responsible for our actions. But how many times do you hear in your life as a child – “ I did this because I can”, “ I am your mother – do as I say”, “ You don’t need to know why – just do it”. So much for independent thinking…
It is quite confusing to be a parent. But at least we are adults and have means to find out what we should do; we can ask for advice; re-think entire situations…As a child a lot of times we do not know how to deal with our confusion…Our parents think that all of our problems are not so important; our friends from “happy families” laugh at us; after a while we just keep to ourselves, grow up bitter and disappointed.
As children – let’s give our parent a chance, let try and talk to them and explain where the problem is. As parents, let’s love our children for who they are – isn’t it what we wanted them to be – individuals with independent thinking? We are almost the same in essence – with a little bit of variation that is determined by difference in time and surroundings, children have a big part of them that is determined by the parents, and parents are influenced quite a bit by their children. And after all we are parents and children, once and for all, we just need to learn how to love each other for who we are and embrace each others differences…