When I was a little girl, I would run to the wheat fields with my sun-bleached hair dancing in the wind…I would get into the middle of the field, lay down and just listen to the wheat whispering secrets to the wind…I would lay there trying to solve every mystery and guess what was the topic of the conversation…Than, after a while, unable to solve anything, I would get up and search for a blemish of color in the middle of the field – corn flowers and poppy flowers. Corn flowers would be so blue that it almost seemed like a piece of the summer sky just broke off and fell right in the middle of the wheat field. And bursting-red poppy flowers seem like little fires that I used to set on the beach by the river…I would walk to the flowers, very carefully, trying not to damage any wheat plants that were tickling my legs as I walked by…I could not resist the temptation of blue and red, that summer feel, look and smell of the flowers, that happiness that I felt when I noticed them in the middle of the golden-yellow field…Serenity…Happiness…Tranquility…I wanted to become that summer breeze that gets trapped in the wheat, that breeze that moves every so slightly creating an illusion of little fire tongues dancing in the wind when you look at the poppy flowers…

You know, everything in life has it’s time and place…I loved going to school – I loved learning new skills, I loved meeting new people, I loved the walls of my old university and smell of the old library upstairs, sound of tired wooden stairs…I loved all of that…

I never loved dating – it was just not my thing...I did not enjoy “getting to know people”, I did not enjoy the awkwardness of the first date, I just never felt safe doing that. And I want to feel safe in my own skin. I felt that I was pretending even if I tried not to; I was never myself even if I tried to be…Just not for me…

I love my career, my big laboratory humming peacefully, people smiling and having fun, new diagnosis and new challenges every minute…I really love that…

But more than anything in life, I want to be a good wife and a good mother. I want my husband and my child to look at me 20 - 30 years from now and tell me that I am everything they wanted…I want my child to share things with me, kiss me good night – like my brother still does. And I want you to walk into the kitchen and give me a kiss on the cheek when I am cooking – after all those years together…

So, please love me, please be there for me, please cherish every moment, please tell me you love me, kiss me in the morning when you wake up, please take showers with me and share doggy walks…Just please – let me be that wonderful wife to you, just please make this biggest dream of my life true…